Life's so short

My cousin passed away 2 days ago. She was so young. Onli 17. Makes me realize how short life can be. She had her whole life ahead of her. She died of liver disease or sth like that.

I wasnt close to her but still its reali sad to see a young life extinguished so suddenly.Didnt come to work on Mon cos i went to the funeral. It was the 1st time i ever reali went for one cos the onli other time was my grandpa's n that was at my own hse so it didnt count.Seeing the distraught faces of the family members, my other cousins n my aunt, it was heartwrenching. Looking at them cry makes me choke bek tears.

It got me tinking like what have i done in my life so far that i can reali say im proud of.Somehow my mind keeps flashing bek to the funeral. Guez going for one makes u put life in perspective n jolt u out of ur daily living when all u ever do is complain n whine when there is so much to live n be grateful for.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 10:10 PM

***



I shouldnt be blogging now. I should be somewhere else instead of home. haha.but cos i succumb to my laziness n exhaustion that lingered from yesterday, here i am.

i tot i could stay wif this job at least 2 mths.but now im nt too sure. the name of 'part time helper' sounds innocuous or harmless enuf. but the amt of work that entails it, makdi blh pengsan seh. like i keep sayin at work. buat ni la, buat tu la.angkat ni la, angkat tu la.abeh there's like so many things to do, all at the same time dorang nk suruh buat, cam mane seh. kadang2 instructions tk clear n they expect us to understand n read their minds gitu n noe hw they want things done.

yesterday while doin the stuff wif the kakak who is in charge of me, i blurt out that i wanna quit pun. den b4 i left work yest, she reminded me to send in my resignation letter 2 wks notice. actuali mmg i wanan quit but i tot of doin it later. she assumes i cant take it anymore tho haha. which was kidna true from yest. cos i was SOOOO tempted to resign rite there on the spot. im like wad the hell am i doin this for.yea i noe y.

MONEY

My sole motivation. One by one, those who came in ard the same time as me, all are sending in their resignation letters. I dun wanna be labelled a quitter but this is reali not wad im interested in as a line of work. and the things we have to do wif the measly pay we get. bleah.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 12:22 PM

***



Thoughts

Been having a taste of working life these last couple of wks. Gotta say it has opened up my eyes to the real world. ok mayb ive been a lil sheltered cos i have never been exposed to office politics since i have never reali worked b4, save for my internship that time. Realized that hypocrisy rules in the workplace n ppl are nt wad they seem 2b. They may smile at u when ure tokin to them but God noes what they tok or do abt u behind ur back. I have come to the conclusion that I would rather ppl tell it or show it to my face that they r displeased or annoyed wif me rather den me being clueless n they rolling their eyes at me or bitching behind my back.

I work in a female-dominated environment and I tell u, now it gets me tinking that its nt such a gd thing. Apart from the lack of cuties to feast my eyes on when i get bored haha, i have realised that females are masters of hypocrisy. sad to admit it but its true.

Guys..if they dun like u or sth, they would juz say it or show it. I personally think that's better den pretending to be nice to someone if u hate his or her guts. But most gerls on the other hand, they can give u their biggest smile and act like ur best fren but little do u noe what they bitch abt u when ure nt around.

I work with these kakak2 or aunties n i heard stories like how 2 of em fight or argue abt sth, while there is this 1 kakak who initially i tot was quite nice wif an earnest face but yesterday working wif her on some task, i found out that she is nt all sweet. in front of her colleagues, she grinned n laughed but once they leave, she rolled her eyes. n she did this every 5 mins. i juz smile n nod but on the inside i was tinkin is this gonna surround me my whole working life. ppl like these. Welcome to the harsh realities of working world i guez.

To be honest, im tinking of quitting. Already 2 other gerls who got in around the same time as me have decided to leave. Firstly, the work is tough. N not to mention stressful. Ok actuali the tasks that we have to do are routine n monotonous even. But its the ppl who make u rush n go all kancheong that i feel pressured to do things fast. And the monotony of doing things repeatedly has made my brain become a lil slow i tink haha. seriously. its like u barely tink when u do these kinda stuff cos its the same thing over n over that mayb the brain juz starts to slowly decline. our reaction rate can get a lil slow on the uptake. it kinda lags haha

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 2:12 PM

***

LoveCynic
20