Ok tts it. Im reali gonna look like a panda once skl reopens. oh wait, im gonna look like panda during raya. how wonderful. at the rate tt im sleepin, or rather not sleepin, and the erratic sleepin patterns im goin thru, im gonna need all e powder, concealer or wad have u to cover e dark rings under my eyes.

time check is 230 am n im still wide awake. i wonder how im gonna survive once semester begins. i will probably be dozing off during lessons. but wait, i cant do tt. nt tt im such a gd gerl tt i wont ever sleep during lessons but rather cos i would probably be too sensitive n keep tinkin tt e lecturer is watchin me n tts why i cant doze off. and im rambling. well forgive me but it is 2 in e morning n tts y im typing words juz as they pop into my head.

barely wrote any entries during this past wk. didnt feel like bloggin. not that there isnt anything to write abt. on the contrary. they are juz too personal to be out in the public domain. besides, i dun wish for any tom, dick or harry to noe anw.

on another topic altogether, why e heck does skl have to start next wk? sucks man. usually when hols come ard n den wanna end, i would be e one rejoicing once skl is gona reopen. ok mayb nt rejoice but is relieved that skl is openin since i will be so bored during e hols. but this time its different. for once, i wasnt bored during e hols n i want it to last forever haha. ok exaggeration but i was gettin used to wakin up late, sleepin in late. n well basically do absolutely nothing lol. Now in a few days time , i will no longer have e luxury. darrnit.

Insomnia's a b****. im nt supposed to curse during e fasting mth, hence e censorship haha

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 2:24 AM

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2 more weeks...
2 more weeks to skl. 2 more weeks to hari Raya. 2 more weeks to the loss of my freedom haha.

Anw cant believe that my hols has juz dwindled to a mere 2 weeks. wad happen to the rest of e hols man? oh ya i juz slacked my butt off during tt time. but honestly e hols hasnt been as boring as i tot it would be, well there are lulls and dull moments that was inevitable but on e whole so far, nt as mundane as i'd tot i'd be. Made a couple of new frenz. Got into late nite convos wif ppl who equally cant sleep like me. Slept at ridiculous hours. Wake up like a queen in e middle of e day. Honed my flirting skills haha. nah. Went out wif frenz. Fasting and doin terawih prayers. Losing weight. darnnit. I SOOO DO NOT WANT TO LOST WT NOR SHOULD I LOSE WT. im skinny enuf as it is. how ah some ppl can GAIN wt during the fasting month beats me. I tink they gorged themselves on food once its time to break fast which is nt supposed to be the case. I mean yea i feel darn bloated la when i buka cos i happily eat but den since i got a small stomach, i dun eat as much as the average person lol.

Ok anw i came across something interesting a bk i have been readin. It says that BITCHY gals always get e guys. And im tinkin it has truth in it. Why? Ok u noe hw when Ure nt interested in a guy and ure nasty to him from time to time, but he juz seems dumb enuf to keep coming bek for more. Yea its cos he's grateful for those rare moments when u do give him ur attention. On the other hand, if U like someone, u tend to be ultra nice and pleasant. Yet he doesnt seem to give two hoots abt u, rite?
U noe the phenomenon whereby Nice guys finish last and all. It rings true for women as well. And we wonder why guys dun fall at our feet when we r nice to them. Nice women finish last or at least get e leftovers, so a word of advice: If u like a guy, be a bitch haha. I guez tts y women like e bad boys after all.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 11:51 AM

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Ok now on to Part 2 of my Realizations entry haha

- I am beginnin to realize that Im a good listener. I guez ppl have told me tt in e past too. I juz didnt reali take note of it till now. I suppose im glad that ppl trust me enuf to confide in me. They open up to me n tell me abt their lives n all. It's interesting and enlightening cos i guez in the process i learn more abt myself too. Mayb its cos Im a quiet person by nature so i let ppl tok more while i do the listening. But wif ppl that i noe from online n den tok on e phone n nvr meet b4, it also seem to be e case. So i guez i am a gd listener though sometimes the part where they expect me to open up, i will tend to close up a bit cos im a person who will onli let ppl in once i get to noe them for a significant period of time. I will rather noe more abt e other person first.

- Im a contradiction. I can be reali bold at times but at inappropriate moments. And then when it comes time to open myself up n juz be myself, even among close frenz i will be shy. haha wad gives man? seriously i duno either. And den i will be so sceptical but deep down i reali wanna noe n experience feelings that i have learn to deny myself so as to prevent myself from gettin disappointed. *shakes head*Im juz confused

- I tend not to want to become frenz wif guys who are already attached. I noe most girls have no prob wif tt but once a guy fren or juz some random guy wants 2b frenz wif me but is already taken, i will nt reali wish 2b frenz. Reason being i dun wanna girlfren 2b jeles or some other rubbish like tt. would rather not deal wif e hassle or drama if something stupid happens like e gf gets envious of our close frenship or sth.den she accuse me of stealing e guy away. Besides if im frenz wif guy who's single, it wont be a problem if i inadvertently flirt wif him in a harmless or jokey manner cos he's nt attached to any gerl. Also if i were to go out wif him, i wont have to worry abt wad e gf may tink.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 1:23 PM

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I REALIZED......


- I curse a lot.I have to keep catchin myself not to say anything bad. It is the Ramadhan mth after all so im supposed to be on my best behaviour. unfortunately it's takin some gettin used to, particularly in the speech dept cos its only now that i noticed almsot every sentence that comes outta my mouth contains explicit words.

- I have a short fuse. I juz dun show it so blatantly. the smallest things can annoy me sometimes. usually i will snap bek. but sometiems i cant be bothered so i juz grit my teeth n roll my eyes.

- ppl have this impression of me that im good. ok la granted if u put me on the balancing scale, i will probably go more towards the good side than the bad one but im nt an angel. i noe e way im sayin its like good is a bad thing. oxymoronic?mayb. Its juz lately this guy wanted to be my fren on friendster. when i asked him why he wanna be frenz, he said 'im e conservative sort'. so i asked him 'wad?u tinkin i can be like be a more positive influence gitu eh'. somehow i knew that was comin cos well i wear e headscarf n all n ppl automatically assume ok, gd gerl. i should take it as a compliment, no? Den yest, when i was tellin abt tis story to my sibs, my bro said 'No, ure not 'alim'. You are alim. So he also tinks like a goody two shoes. I dunno y im havin a prob wif this. Mayb cos deep down i noe im nt as gd as my outer appearance seem to portray.

- grades dun reali matter to me. alrite mayb it matters a lil. i mean i wouldnt wanna fail or anything. Its juz tt compared to my frenz who seem to place utmost importance on academic matters, its like if i dun reali get stellar results, its alrite. i dun fret abt it for days on end n moan abt hw i shd have done better or be disappointed that wad i see on e results slip werent wad i was expecting. prob cos i wasnt even expecting anything. not that i have low expectations, mind u. its juz to me its no use cryin over spilt milk, wads done is done. no matter hw many times u go over ur head abt e mistakes u made n could have avoided, it wont change e outcome. so juz accept it n move on. For instance, when i got my results on 6 oct, frankly i didnt even tink abt them until i got e sms from Np abt my grades. i didnt count down like hw many days b4 e dreaded day or anything like tt.

Ok la i tink tts abt enuf epiphanies for e day. will blog abt it if i tink of more...

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 12:43 PM

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Bored...hence e nonsensical stuff below

Your Birthdate: January 10

Your birth on the 10th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life. The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than you path may have indicated.A birthday on the 10th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed. You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books. You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 11:28 PM

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Tmr marks e start of Ramadhan. Hmm i gotta refrain from doin a lot of sinful things haha. cannot curse, cannot balik late at nite, n muz strive to be more beriman. Cleanse e soul. Tonite da terawih. as usual will terawih at home wif my family unless decide to gi masjid. altho i tink i will be a bit malas to travel all e way go mosque heh. cos e imam will be lambat (according to my bro who said he nearly wanted to sleep some of e time, haha). n i will be scared my eyelids will droop also. heh ok bad me. Anw InsyaAllah i can gain more pahala from e holy month.

I have been rottin at home since e exam ended which i have now forgotten when haha. i tink probably 3 wks or sth. n i tink tmr im gonna get my results. honestly im nt reali scared or apprehensive abt it. hopefully will get minimum Bs for everything. Asalkan tk kene repeat sudah. Actuali i have no real agenda to blog abt. jUZ felt like writing down wadever comes to mind. so forgive me if my train of thought is all over e place.

Anw chatted wif some masscomm frenz juz nw. Chatted wif An a bit n teased him abt stuff haha. Man i've known tt guy for ages. since Sec 1 seh. n we always seem to be in the same class up till 2nd yr that is. its a wonder why we r nt tt close. but yea i find him a nice guy la. haha. An if ure readin this, which mayb u wont, unless i ask u to go read haha. well u better say sth nice abt me in ur blog lol. kidding :p
Was also chattin wif Sarina juz nw, told her hw im feelin so jaded n emotionless lately. so blah n cant be bothered abt a lot of stuff. tts y im kinda envious of ppl who got a lot of passion in them, haha i dun mean tt sexually k. juz tt those ppl who got a goal n are driven towards them n noe wad they want outta life. they got all these hopes n dreams n will talk animatedly abt them. whereas me, ntah i dun seem to feel passionate abt much. im like a freakin robot sometimes, so placid.
So one month of fasting beckons n that also equals to one month b4 skul starts. One more semester n den im good to go. Graduate. Man it all seems so fast. It seemed like yesterday that i was juz a naive freshie outta sec skl. i gotta say im glad i entered poly. Cos it have changed me a lot. I have opened up more, become less narrow in my mindset, be more accepting of others n nt be e shy, quiet gerl that i used to be. okla mayb compared to my outgoing frenz, i am e quieter one but i have certainly done some stuff since masuk poly that i would nvr have expected i woul do n certainly nt wad my frenz expect of me haha.
Alas i no longer get tt adrenaline rush i feel from doin crazy stuff. mayb tts y i have been feeling jaded n disillusioned of late.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 2:53 PM

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Ok im bored. that's y im left to finally updating this old bloggie of mine which has recently gathered some cobwebs. anw found this funny joke online. tot i would juz put it up here for amusement's sake. Enjoy..


I Like Your Thinking...
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

Anw yesterday another funny thing happened also. paiseh ah but damn funny also. Yest i went out wid sarina n suzi. after goin to e spankin new library at bugis, i went there twice seh this wk haha. well wif diff ppl la. anw aft tt we were damn hungry cos decided to head on down to suntec area to eat. anw we were at delifrance n of coz when gerls get together, wad do we tok abt usually? GUYS la wad else.
well we were yakkin abt gerl stuff when suddenly sarina burst out in uncontrollable laughter tinged wif embarrassment. at 1st i was very confused n was like tryin to understand why she was maniacally bent over in laughter. Suzi was even more bewildered i tink cos she was lookin under e table wif a puzzled expression on her face, thinkin there was some cat or sth under e table hahaha. den i dunno hw but i tink it finally dawned on me when i turned to my side n saw a cute mly guy sittin at e table nx to us.
Oh Gawd, he muz have eavesdrop on our convo n was amused la. but he was lookin quite normal le, like nothin goin on gitu lol. den sarina basically couldnt take it i tink and abandoned us haha. no la she quickly left cos she too paised oredi. I was like sarina tunggu ah, cepatnye kluar. den me n suzi also left e plc all e while laughin our heads off cos were too damn embarrassed oredi. Man i wished i had asked e guy 'Eh so are u noe more enlightened abt how gerls tink n tok abt?' Whahaha. that would have turned e tables on him. Cos he would noe that we noe he was eavesdroppin. Too bad i onli tot of that comeback hours after when i was layin on e bed at nite haha.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 12:50 PM

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LoveCynic
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