Im so glad im nt moody anymore. Thank god ive snapped outta my funk. Becoming an emotional basketcase is not wad i want rite now, thank u very much. Or ever.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 6:59 PM

***



I dunno wads happening to me lately. Been spiralling into this whirlpool of moodiness and depression. Drowning in self-pity and loneliness. Ive been beating myself up a lot these days when i didnt do much of that in e past.

Yest nite b4 goin to sleep, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of intense emotional pain that i juz broke down. I dunno wad e fuck is wrong wif me. I hope its juz hormones gone mad so i will have sth to blame my mood swings on. I woke up at like 4am. I dun wake up in e middle of of the night usually. Got bek to slp and ended waking up late. Was late for my 1st IS class by half an hr. Strange thing was i didnt reali feel panicky or worried tt i was late. Even contemplated skippin but nah didnt do tt. Lucky e teacher was nice. Anw i didnt miss much except for some gettin to noe each other part so wasnt a big loss.

I honestly dunno wads causing this instability of my heart n mind. I cant pinpoint wad exactly is bothering me. I have no major issues wif anyone and sch hasnt been a total pain in e ass. So far. Stupid2. If there's one thing i hate, its not being in control, especially of my feelings. Dammit...

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 8:52 PM

***



It's been ages since i last blogged. wasnt in e mood, although during e hols i was mostly rottin away at home n was online. juz couldnt be bothered to blog since there was nothing to write abt.

Now skl has finally started. after a hiatus of 7 wks. to be honest, i dun reali feel anything abt skl. i dun feel excited abt goin to skl nor do i reali hate goin to skl. ok maybe e wakin up so freakin early in e mornin part im still not so used to cos all i had been doin during e last 7wks was wake up at ard 10. And now i have to haul my ass outta bed at like 6 in e freakin AM. aiyoh. but one gd thing that came out of it is that im no longer an insomniac.YAY!!

I dun have to toss n turn every nite b4 i go to bed now, thank god. I hate being e last one obviously still awake at nite while e rest are oredi off in Lala Land. Yea la sit at home n do nothing. where got tired rite, so cannot sleep so easily la. Now i tink my body clock has resumed to normal.

Wad else? yea skl. wad can i say? Im takin Advanced Ad, Advanced PR & Radio Journ this semester. I like Radio Journ cos of Felix. He's damn funny wif his Filipino accent. I tot e 1st lecture was rather boring cos he seemed so serious but he cracked many sarcastic jokes during tutorial so tt was gd. At least Im not bored to tears. Jenny Low for Ad. She's alrite la. I noe ppl call her a bitch but she's cool, though wif a mean streak sometimes haha. but den tt exists in all of us rite? :p Hmm yea n finally ASS, for PR . She's nice. I juz dun like PR now cos i got D for it last sem. bluek. I hate modules or subjects that i get sucky grades in. That's y Ive never been a fan of Maths n Science in sec skl. Precisely cos i suck at em. I onli put PR as my 5th choice was cos during e exam period, i reali tot that i could finally manage to understand PR. I guez i was disillusioned.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 7:31 PM

***

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 10:41 AM

***



Yest went to sch to check wad modules i will be taking in my last 2 semesters of my poly yr.

Advanced Advertising
Advanced PR
Radio Journ
Online Journ
Convex & Exhibitions
Acting & Directing

I got my top 5 choices n my no.9 choice. Advertising. Bleuk. Jenny 'The Bitch' Low.Hooray haha.I mean she's alrite i suppose, i dun hate her like a lot of my other frenz does but she is kinda bitch.And PR. Oh gawd. cant believe im gonna get ASS again. as if one semester wasnt enuf. Yea la who ask me to cleverly put it as my 3rd choice? Now im stuck wif her. Again. She bores me to tears. I tink she's nice n all but she's juz boring. I always wanna sleep in her class. The reason i put it as my top 5 choices was cos towards e end of last sem, surprisingly i was beginnin to like Pr but i changed my mind when i got my grade bek haha. bleah.

Checked my timetable this mornin. I like all except for e bloody 6 hours break on thur!!!Crazy. I might as well juz go home n dun come bek. Probably gonna skip tt class a lot haha. but den again, i probably wont cos i got too much of a conscience to do tt. haiz.

Anybody wanna change wif me for Pr tutorial on thur? My class is 4-6pm. Idiot. soo late.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 12:31 PM

***



I am consumed wif extreme boredom. I spent close to 2hrs i tink juz staring at e computer screen goin thru frenster profiles n editing my blog.see la e amount of time i have to waste. im online but my msn status is offline. cos i dun reali feel like tokin to anyone.although strangely there seemed to be more ppl now compared to last nite's pitiful no of ppl online. which again i was bored waiting for One tree hill to start so i log onto e net for a while.Going crazy n mindnumbingly dull.i dun work.i dun use my brain cells except for digesting e plots of dramas on tv haha.tell me,why am i here rottin away slowly?gosh i should be ashamed of myself.

Seriously stuck in a rut now. My social life is currently at a standstill.I want more new friends, or rather more new guy frenz so at least got potential for some crushies haha. sadly enuf, my handphone has been silent e past couple of days except for tt one call from faz,askin if my dad still can alter his pants 4 him.asked him to come over so dad can measure him.1st time tt a guy actuali came over to my hse. i mean in e past pernah ah my guy frenz came over 4 hari raya but all in big grps mah.this one alone.dunno why im even sayin this. cos i got nth better to blog abt haha.yea wad was i sayin juz nw b4 i went off tangent? oh ya lack of a social life. lack of a love life.i juz want some fun b4 skul starts u noe.its been ages since i reali like someone. i even made a pact wif myself to stay off guys tt time haha. n syaz was like 'nooo,come bek. how can u not like guys?' haha. im nt as boy crazy as i was in e past. limited opportunites now.

Bleah. Life is one big droning humdrum existence now, its pathetic.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 1:50 PM

***



ANOTHER NEW SKIN

Haha n yet again i change my skin like i change my underwear.I get bored easily la, wad to do.The previous one was nice but a wee bit troublesome wif e 'enter' part n all so i change it to this one. Kinda like e gerl in e centre of e page.

Anywaez, yest me n syaz went shoppin or rather she went shoppin haha. for once, she spent more den me. while i bought nothing lol.im broke la tts y.Kinda sad, saw stuff tt caught my eye at e new bugis shops there but too bad,no moolah. Syaz wanted to go buy some new stuff b4 skul starts. which for her, unfortunately happens to be tmr. So sad rite. i got like 3more wks to go.thank god haha.

Ape lagi eh nak blog abt?tAKDE pape ah in my life. boring sungguh seh.

[[ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder__ 9:18 PM

***

LoveCynic
20